I enjoy going on walks, playing catch and building towers with our daughter. And all in all, I think that motherhood is quite fun.
However, that is not the kind of fun that I'm talking about right now.
The other night my husband and I left our daughter with my cousin so we could have a date night. Our date included a long stroll along the river holding hands and stopping to take pictures, wandering into a used bookstore and bringing a few treasures home (used children's books in Chinese and Italian), stopping in a teahouse and flipping through the magazines together and best of all, having a drink or two and dancing the night away at a friend's wedding. This was the second longest date that we have had since our daughter was born.
That is the kind of fun that I'm talking about.
Getting out and seeing the world, holding hands, watching the river, exploring, dancing the night away, forgetting about the world and just thinking about yourself and your significant other.
I think that it is important to do this (probably more than once or twice a year), because like going to work, it reminds you of who you are when you are not assuming the 'mamma' role. It lets you and your husband focus on each other. It lets you feel youthful and energetic. It also lets you forget the more serious, responsible side of mothering and just hang loose.
On previous allotted 'date nights', we typically just crashed and fell asleep, which is also great. However, I think that going out and enjoying an activity like dancing is particularly invigorating and exhilarating. It is good for your heart, mind and soul. It makes you feel light and carefree. That was the most non-mamma fun that I have had in a while.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Mamma Tip: Children and Chores
No matter how young your child is, I think that you can involve them to some extent in chores. From a young age, they have a sense of responsibility and pride. It can also lighten your load, since you don't have to keep them out of trouble AND do the chores at the same time.
Here are some examples:
Do not worry about how boring the task may seem to you. Your child will love helping out and will love the extra attention from you. To a child, any type of activity can be fun if they have a special role.
Here are some examples:
- Have your toddler hand you the silverware from the dishwasher as you put each item away.
- When making a salad, break the lettuce and then give it to your child to put into the bowl.
- Hand the laundry from the washer to put into the dryer.
- Insist that your child clean up his/her toys . Hand each item to them and direct them to put it in its home. Or have your child hand each toy to you.
- Give your child a broom and let them sweep the floor. Give them a cloth to have them dust.
- Have them hand you clothes from the laundry basket to fold.
- Let them pick weeds and put them in the compost bucket.
- Let them lay near the kitchen in their favorite bouncy chair or buggy. As you prepare them meal, explain each step. ("First we are going to chop the onions real fine.")
- Put them on your back in a sling as you vacuum or clean up.
- Take them outside as you work in the garden.
Do not worry about how boring the task may seem to you. Your child will love helping out and will love the extra attention from you. To a child, any type of activity can be fun if they have a special role.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Chinese daycare
Over the past couple months, I have been sending our daughter to a Chinese daycare twice a week. The childcare here is notably different from your typical American daycare for the following reasons.
1. There are weekly Chinese, Math and English quizzes for attendees (2-4 yr olds)
2. Much of the instruction includes reading and writing.
3. During each 15-20 minute lesson 25 little kids sit appropriately in there seats, supervised by 1 adult who enthusiastically presents the material.
4. The kids are very "advanced" in linguistic development. The two year-olds can recite ancient Chinese poetry beautifully and understand what it means. The three year-olds can write entire stories in Chinese characters.
5. The kids are very excited about learning and are always having a great time whenever I pop in. They participate and when a volunteer is asked to go to the board, they ALL shout MEEEE! When their peer gets the answer right, they jump out of their seats and spontaneously do a little dance in recognition. They are very involved enthusiastic.
When I first visited the school with my 15 month-old, I was quite shocked. I had expected the less structured daycare model with baby songs and games where you 'find your nose'. Won't a 15 month-old feel bored and left out during the lesson? It didn't seem right, since my kid can't even talk yet, much less write Chinese characters and do math problems. But the head teacher, a loving 66 year-old Chinese woman who previously ran a daycare in Shanghai for 30 years assured me that everything would be fine. "She will watch the other kids and want to learn just like them."
The first couple weeks this grandmotherly woman, Nainai, patiently held my daughter in her arms through each lesson, since my daughter was timid and afraid of this unfamiliar environment. It broke my heart that she cried at the start of each day when my parents dropped her off. But Nainai told me that it would take a little time to adjust.
Now, our daughter enjoys playing with the other kids. They treat her like their younger sister and charmingly greet her each day, Nihao Lan-Lan!!! Many of them run over to hug her the minute she steps in the door. And just like Nainai said, Lan-Lan is eager to sit in her own chair and pay attention to each lesson. Even though she is not learning to write like the other kids, she is still learning. There is a huge benefit to being with and imitating kids of different age groups. Nainai even told me that when the other kids are practicing writing characters, our daughter walks around, points at other students' notebooks and babbles advice (in baby language of course), as if she were the teacher.
The bottom line is, I think that there is something to this daycare. Yes, silly playtime is valuable. Children learn from playing. And these kids do have plenty of free play at this place as well. They enjoy every minute of it, just like any other kid. However, children can have fun together doing all sorts of things. If we expect a little more from them and give them a positive, friendly environment, they might just amaze us with what they can learn. So while goofy games are important, even little kids are capable of and love serious learning. Let's not underestimate them.
1. There are weekly Chinese, Math and English quizzes for attendees (2-4 yr olds)
2. Much of the instruction includes reading and writing.
3. During each 15-20 minute lesson 25 little kids sit appropriately in there seats, supervised by 1 adult who enthusiastically presents the material.
4. The kids are very "advanced" in linguistic development. The two year-olds can recite ancient Chinese poetry beautifully and understand what it means. The three year-olds can write entire stories in Chinese characters.
5. The kids are very excited about learning and are always having a great time whenever I pop in. They participate and when a volunteer is asked to go to the board, they ALL shout MEEEE! When their peer gets the answer right, they jump out of their seats and spontaneously do a little dance in recognition. They are very involved enthusiastic.
When I first visited the school with my 15 month-old, I was quite shocked. I had expected the less structured daycare model with baby songs and games where you 'find your nose'. Won't a 15 month-old feel bored and left out during the lesson? It didn't seem right, since my kid can't even talk yet, much less write Chinese characters and do math problems. But the head teacher, a loving 66 year-old Chinese woman who previously ran a daycare in Shanghai for 30 years assured me that everything would be fine. "She will watch the other kids and want to learn just like them."
The first couple weeks this grandmotherly woman, Nainai, patiently held my daughter in her arms through each lesson, since my daughter was timid and afraid of this unfamiliar environment. It broke my heart that she cried at the start of each day when my parents dropped her off. But Nainai told me that it would take a little time to adjust.
Now, our daughter enjoys playing with the other kids. They treat her like their younger sister and charmingly greet her each day, Nihao Lan-Lan!!! Many of them run over to hug her the minute she steps in the door. And just like Nainai said, Lan-Lan is eager to sit in her own chair and pay attention to each lesson. Even though she is not learning to write like the other kids, she is still learning. There is a huge benefit to being with and imitating kids of different age groups. Nainai even told me that when the other kids are practicing writing characters, our daughter walks around, points at other students' notebooks and babbles advice (in baby language of course), as if she were the teacher.
The bottom line is, I think that there is something to this daycare. Yes, silly playtime is valuable. Children learn from playing. And these kids do have plenty of free play at this place as well. They enjoy every minute of it, just like any other kid. However, children can have fun together doing all sorts of things. If we expect a little more from them and give them a positive, friendly environment, they might just amaze us with what they can learn. So while goofy games are important, even little kids are capable of and love serious learning. Let's not underestimate them.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Mamma Tip: Sign Language
At 16 months, our daughter is able to communicate with us primarily through signing. She can tell us if she wants to eat (and sometimes specify what she wants to eat), if she wants more of something, if she wants us to hold her and a few other things.
Since multilingual children acquire speech later than monolingual children, I am thankful that she can communicate with her hands. Before she started signing, she used to yell a lot more, and it was difficult to figure out what she wanted. To teach her signs, we simply showed her the relevant gesture (you can learn ASL signs online or make up your own), and after a few times she learned to imitate. Once we knew that she was able to use the sign, we would not give her what she wanted until she could appropriately sign to us. Now she is picking up new signs every day.
Even if you are raising your child to be monolingual, signing is a great way to start the communicating process. It will build a stronger bond between you and your little one and help you to understand each other. Of course, don't push signing too early. Make sure that your child is developmentally ready before you insist that he/she signs. However, introducing the signs from an early start won't hurt!
Happy signing :)
Since multilingual children acquire speech later than monolingual children, I am thankful that she can communicate with her hands. Before she started signing, she used to yell a lot more, and it was difficult to figure out what she wanted. To teach her signs, we simply showed her the relevant gesture (you can learn ASL signs online or make up your own), and after a few times she learned to imitate. Once we knew that she was able to use the sign, we would not give her what she wanted until she could appropriately sign to us. Now she is picking up new signs every day.
Even if you are raising your child to be monolingual, signing is a great way to start the communicating process. It will build a stronger bond between you and your little one and help you to understand each other. Of course, don't push signing too early. Make sure that your child is developmentally ready before you insist that he/she signs. However, introducing the signs from an early start won't hurt!
Happy signing :)
Life is cyclical
Today a neighbor shared with me a piece of advice regarding exercising:
"Life will happen and you will get out of shape. Then you go back to it. Then you will get distracted. But the important thing is to keep going back to it."
I found this very helpful. Because I often get into a 'rut' where I lack motivation (check out my exercise log to clue you in!). But eventually something will spark a light inside and I will go back to the gym or to running or swimming, walking or rollerblading.
I believe that life is not perfectly linear, but cyclical. Although we are always growing, we get distracted from our habits and good ways. We get bent out of shape and forget who we are and where we are going. But that's ok.
The important thing is to pick up where you left of. Get right back to it. Or even take a few steps backward. Start small again. And then once again tackle those habits that are important to you. Stay true to your life and give yourself a chance to get back on the path.
"Life will happen and you will get out of shape. Then you go back to it. Then you will get distracted. But the important thing is to keep going back to it."
I found this very helpful. Because I often get into a 'rut' where I lack motivation (check out my exercise log to clue you in!). But eventually something will spark a light inside and I will go back to the gym or to running or swimming, walking or rollerblading.
I believe that life is not perfectly linear, but cyclical. Although we are always growing, we get distracted from our habits and good ways. We get bent out of shape and forget who we are and where we are going. But that's ok.
The important thing is to pick up where you left of. Get right back to it. Or even take a few steps backward. Start small again. And then once again tackle those habits that are important to you. Stay true to your life and give yourself a chance to get back on the path.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
This is the moment
My sister has a gift. Whatever song she is listening to at the moment is her favorite song. Whatever food she is eating at the moment is her favorite food. Whatever movie she is watching at the moment is her favorite movie.
How can this be?
Well, she enjoys the moment so much that she forgets about other "better" things and focuses on the bliss of what she has in front of her. She has a way of appreciating whatever is given to her at any particular point in time.
What if we all could do this? We wouldn't want to escape from challenges, but rather would view them as opportunities. We wouldn't be greedy for more, but instead grateful for what we do have. We wouldn't feel insufficient, but rather capable for what we do well. We wouldn't be critical of others, but rather supportive and loving.
Every moment is a gift and pushes us to attain our greater self. Every moment is the best moment.
How can this be?
Well, she enjoys the moment so much that she forgets about other "better" things and focuses on the bliss of what she has in front of her. She has a way of appreciating whatever is given to her at any particular point in time.
What if we all could do this? We wouldn't want to escape from challenges, but rather would view them as opportunities. We wouldn't be greedy for more, but instead grateful for what we do have. We wouldn't feel insufficient, but rather capable for what we do well. We wouldn't be critical of others, but rather supportive and loving.
Every moment is a gift and pushes us to attain our greater self. Every moment is the best moment.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Perfection
We live in a time and era where perfection is sought. We look at women with perfect bodies, we listen to media and music that has been altered to sound perfect, we watch TV programs of homes that have been decorated perfectly. And we often hold ourselves to the same standards.
But the thing is, with all of the perfection, we lose an element of authenticity. Because most people actually don't have perfectly airbrushed bodies and perfectly smooth, shiny, wind-proof hair. Most people, even the best singers don't sing perfectly on pitch 100% of the time. And real homes that we actually live in are not museums where every detail has to look stunning.
Get rid of the perfection dream and hold onto the authentic dream.
This is what the authentic dream looks like:
-trying hard
-accepting, not neglecting your emotions
-messing up
-learning from mistakes sometimes
-making the same mistakes again other times
-taking time to relax even if you don't think you deserve it
-doing some things halfway
-doing other things really well
-staying patient
-losing your patience sometimes
-avoiding hassels
-loving yourself no matter what
But the thing is, with all of the perfection, we lose an element of authenticity. Because most people actually don't have perfectly airbrushed bodies and perfectly smooth, shiny, wind-proof hair. Most people, even the best singers don't sing perfectly on pitch 100% of the time. And real homes that we actually live in are not museums where every detail has to look stunning.
Get rid of the perfection dream and hold onto the authentic dream.
This is what the authentic dream looks like:
-trying hard
-accepting, not neglecting your emotions
-messing up
-learning from mistakes sometimes
-making the same mistakes again other times
-taking time to relax even if you don't think you deserve it
-doing some things halfway
-doing other things really well
-staying patient
-losing your patience sometimes
-avoiding hassels
-loving yourself no matter what
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)